boob tube

I just heard double-chins were in......

I know, I know....it has been  awhile and yes I feel guilty and yes I wish I would see you all more--I keep promising, and breaking those promises....I will work on it............"I promise."

But truly I want to write more, I need to get my fat ass in gear and work on a book, I think that process will put my healing on a whole other level--a welcomed change.  There is so much to catch you all up on, but alas that will have to wait. I will let you know that I walked an amazing runway show with amazing survivors and had a great (and extremely sweaty) time--chub, quick changes, hot lights and cramming lots of women in an upstairs room with no open windows=dori looking like someone dumped a bucket of water on her head...though totally worth it. My best friend Luke got married to an amazing woman and I felt good enough to attend the rehearsal, do some hair and makeup and the wedding without napping=amazing.  And you should be proud--I have tried on pants AND managed to keep pants on, I am a tricky bitch, but honestly it only takes one time of showing your granny pants to a Target dressing room attendant to remember to look down before you open the fucking door.....

On a health note, we have a few updates. A few weeks ago I had gotten to the point where I was SO exhausted during the day I would be awake only a few hours and then need to sleep (for most of the day) and then head back to bed. My naturopath switched stuff up but I still wasn't feeling right, she told me my thyroid was swollen. I have enormous faith in her--she brought me back from one of the scariest health places I had been since cancer, so I took her information to heart. I had to work a weekend workshop and made it, but went in the next week to have my blood drawn. My primary doc (who I officially think is a jack ass) laughed when I told him my naturopath's concerns and also said he would check my blood for diabetes and I QUOTE "maybe that will scare the fat off you."  If I hadn't been so tired I would have slapped him with the blood pressure cuff.  How fucking dare him, I am sorry dear doctor that the last year was one of the hardest for me mentally and my depression got pretty bad and I slept a lot (worked out........hardly at all) and cried. Yep, my body took the toll, but lets just keep the fat jokes to yourself....the lady at Target saw me half-clothed and all she did was tell me I wasn't wearing pants...she kept the jokes to herself, you should follow suit. But the joke is on him, my labs came back that I have hypothyroidism (which can explain the tiredness and a majority of the ache/pains, and weight gain). I saw a specialist and I am now on meds--we are waiting to get the right dose, but so far, so good. Once again my naturopath was able to point me in the direction of "healthy" God love that woman!

The newest body update starts tomorrow, I check-in for surgery at 10:15am at UW. Scott and I had an intense meeting with my plastic surgeon (who I love) where he tried to convince us both that major surgery was really the way to go and that I should consider that option--which before my infection Scott and I thought was an option. But after discussing we have decided that we aren't ready for a hospital stay, and my poor, poor body needs a fucking break. So we are opting for the least invasive option (less time under anesthesia and I get to go home the same day). I am going to have some fat sucked out of my belly and put into my boob sacks (it is called fat grafting).  I have been working on my pitch to my doc for tomorrow--he needs to understand that the smaller my belly is the bigger my boobs will look.....

Another chapter starts. I am just hoping I remember to keep my pants on.......

ain't that a bitch.

beauty.
weddings.
scars.
swollen legs.
lack of boobs.
open sores on arms.
open sores on legs.
chubby.
chub rub.
fat.
sweaty.
super pale (like see-through).
yellow teeth (thanks chemo).
tattoo peeling off color.
cavernous cellulite.
double (triple if I smile) chins.
ridged nails (thanks chemo).


 So you know what this girl is going to do about it?  Walk the runway at the Northwest Hope and Healing Fashion Show (again). suck it cancer. 

Celebration of Life

I have talked a lot about my friends and family on my blog, and the caregivers and docs that I have had.  Today, and on every March 21 (since 2007) I need and want to talk about my dad. People tell me that the reason my dad and I didn't always see "eye-to-eye" is because we were very similar. We didn't take any shit from anyone, cursed like sailors, may not start the fight--but would put an end to it, we also cared for our family and knew that family came first--always.  Unfortunately for my father I was a bit rebellious (to put it mildly) through my high school and undergraduate years at Western.  I grew up a country girl and still consider myself to be that, family comes first, 4 stations are programmed to country radio, I wouldn't start a fight but I would sure as hell finish it, and my mom is my best friend.  My father got to witness me change from a rebellious teenager to a stable adult, and that is something I am thankful for everyday.

When we lost my dad, it was the hardest experience for us Greenaway Girls.  We bonded instantly more than we had and I am happy to say that out of the tragedy of my dads death my mom, sisters and I became a pretty tight knit group of wise-ass women.  It is genetics, but it also could have been that first Christmas where we drank beer for days and watched all the Harry Potter movies, bonding comes in mysterious ways.

You always knew where you stood with my dad. Everything was black or white, grounded/not grounded, etc... He would follow you to the moon and back to encourage you, or give you a look that could make you run like hell to discourage you.  I want to thank him for helping put together the woman I am today. My thick skin and rowdy sense of humor, my ability to jump into any verbal argument and think I am winning, understanding the importance of small town, community, and taking care of family, and that even though I was born a girl, I can watch sports, cuss like a sailor, stand up for myself, and always, always stand up for others.

My dad used to write little poems to my mom, and my sisters and I (like in the yearbook for high school, or in a card) so we wrote one for his obituary in the paper. We aren't funeral people,we are celebration of life people. So today, on the anniversary of his passing, I want to share with you all the poem us 4 Greenaway Girls wrote--we have carried on the poem tradition in wedding speeches as well:

January 5, 1950-March 21, 2007
Rick Greenaway grew up an Okanogan hometown boy,
His family and friends was what he enjoyed.

Rick spent all of his life loving his country,
In work, and in play, and as an MP in the army.

We'll remember him patriotic, hardworking, loving and stern,
He taught us so much, but with so much more to learn.

Rick, a Tri-Chevy fanatic his entire life,
Traveling to car shows with his girls and his wife.

He spent time in the shop, working and building all sorts of things,
And always taking time to work on school projects and letting us girls spread our wings.

He loved watching the Speed Channel, NASCAR and football,
But going to Las Vegas Speedway, was his favorite of all.

His preferred place to be (away from Malott):
The goose cabin with his friends, hunting and playing and eating a lot.

His hair turned gray with a wife, three girls and no son,
But he taught us to work hard "Heads down, butts up, and carry on."

No father of three could have been prouder,
To have girls that "think for themselves" and speak even louder.

Bye-Bye Mold!!

Hi all!!! This is last minute and it is a bit crazy, but our small bathrooms have been overrun with mold. As a result, we need to remove EVERYTHING from our bathrooms. We are fortunate enough to have the labor volunteered, but we still need assistance. We would appreciate any financial support. You can click on the link below to help us by donating. The volunteers that are helping us with labor are available this coming weekend, which means we are in a bit of a rush....  



help!!