We all knew my boobs were trouble.

X marks the spot 

I recently had my 13 year mastectomy anniversary. 13 years ago my boobs tried to kill me, so I got them cut off! It was the first "choice" I was able to make. It was recommended that I just get my right boob removed but that seemed nonsensical to me--so I said "take 'em both." My first choice...everything swirls around you, like a tornado of information and opinions when you're diagnosed. The first thing I was able to get my hands on was making the surgical decision. 

MRI of right breast...full of tumors

I had a pump-up party pre-surgery! I had friends rotating in. My dear friend Patti taking photos and I even ended up standing on my hospital bed wearing pink boxing gloves. I didn't go off the rails...those rails on a hospital bed are just too hard to get down.

party over.

The nurse came in and started my IV, the parade of visitors was called off and I took out my contacts and put on my glasses. They put medical tape over my nose piercing and a very sexy hair net on. I was riding pretty high after seeing everyone, until I heard the click the brakes on the bed make when they are taken off. My stomach dropped and caused water to well up in my eyes. I was all alone. There was a fear I've never felt before circulating throughout my body, causing my hands to clench. 

post-op

Then I woke up, alone. Far from the fanfare I had pre-op. I was wheeled into a room, but no one told the nurse or my family. They hadn't put my glasses on me so I was blind and in a lot of pain, as no meds had been administered, because I didn't have a fucking nurse! Slowly I was discovered and my pain evened out. My family was found and brought into my room. Things became as normal as they were going to be via this particular hospital stay. 

I am now a surgery pro. I have had countless types of breasts, infections and surgeries. I have been left with a right breast that has been seared and contains a portion of my lat muscle that once carried an infection that put me too close to death. My left breast has character. It looks like someone ran over a pancake, then reversed back over it. It doesn't resemble a breast at all. These pair of knockers are ornamental but the combo hasn't tried to kill me so I'll keep them around.