burn baby burn

I have hair!!

~~warning: there are boobs and burn photos in this blog~~ I apologize for not writing for awhile........it gets to a point where it has been so long, I feel a crazy-like pressure about whatever post I write next. Well I got over that, and I have also decided that I need to post more often, I am also taking pain medication, so the thoughts don't come as quickly as they normally do--apologizes for typos in advance. 
Last Sunday I went to the ER. Saturday night I started to have pain in my right lower abdomen and my lower back on the same side, and it began to get unbearable.  So Sunday Scott took me to the ER, I found out I had a bladder infection that spread to my kidney, a inflamed cervix (no worries, I am STI free) and a hernia above my belly button.  WOW.  They gave me antibiotics for the infections and said to go my doc if the pain didn't go away.........it didn't. My doc sent me to get a pelvic ultrasound (insert flashbacks of my fertility treatments here). 

burn baby burn

The ultrasound tech was a bit of a bitch.....well a lot of a bitch.  I had a CT scan done at the ER to check my appendix and it had come back clean.  I told her I was there to be sure my appendix was okay and she said "well I only can see it if it is really swollen, or you are a 5 year old" (not my fault, talk to my doctor lady).  So she did the ultrasound and tears were coming down my face because it hurt so bad. Scott was sitting in a chair in front of me helpless as the tears kept rolling down.  The tech was so condescending I wanted to take the vaginal ultrasound wand and smack her in the face.  I was in too much pain to deal with her skinny, high-horse attitude.  Now to the results:

The results showed that I have a hemorrhagic cyst  (filled with blood) in my right ovary-no appendicitis!  We have a dilemma because those cysts are usually treated with birth control, but I can't take birth control due to my tumors being estrogen positive.  There is a small chance that it could have been caused by Tamoxifen, which I have to take for 5 years (and there is no way I am going to stop taking that) so we sit and wait.  The ultrasound my gyno did showed that the blood was leaking and going into my ovary, so he thinks it is healing on its own this time.  These cysts tend to return very frequently, so if another one comes I am considering surgery very heavily.  The pain has now dwindled down to a menstrual type cramp, so I think it is on the way to healing.

my 36th day

Monday was my last day of radiation, Day 36!  I was in so much pain from my bladder infection I thought I would skip it.  But I brought a pink feather boa and wore it for some pictures on the radiation table.  Scott came and got to see the radiation gizmo and then I rang the bell in the hallway 3 times to inform the staff I had completed my treatment.  It was a great feeling! 

my big bad burn

It feels good to be done, but now my boob continues to burn.  I have a lot of nasty business happening on my boob and it is NOT pretty.  Our sheets and pillows are covered in grease from the Aquaphor, antibiotic medication, and burn medication.  Scott has also banned me from showering when he isn't here because I hurt so much sometimes I fall down....and then can't get out of the tub.  I guess he has a fair point.

I went to see a dermatologist because I was receiving no help from my doctor or nurses at radiation, I mean NO help. I have a family allergy of sulfa (meaning my mom was in the hospital and almost died....terrifying) so I can't use silvadene..........and they never offered me another option, no creams, no nothing.........I did a lot of Googling and when I brought up what I found they never offered any of it (they seem to be treating patients with protocols from 10 years ago).  The dermatologist, who was probably 200 yrs. old, well, old enough to pick his ear and then flick the pasty ear goop in my direction, was very surprised that they never offered me another antibiotic based cream, he said my burns were some of the worst he had ever seen, and 200 years is a lot of experience.  He prescribed me another antibiotic cream, took a swab to check for a staph infection (yep, it is that bad), and gave me other tips.  It was more than I have ever got, even when I was armed with questions, from my radiation oncologist.



I made this one big, so you can see how far my burn goes back



I finally got to ring the bell!  I am DONE with radiation!

I just want to heal.  I will fight through the infections, cyst and whatever the hell is happening to my boob and then I can begin the healing.  I am pretty sick of life handing me lemons, I don't like lemonade, even when I had vodka. I would like to start receiving cranberry juice instead.