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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

in sickness and in health...

Well my Cool Magic Gel Pads are so full of fluid they are going to explode...but I can't take them off (because I cry when they aren't on) and I don't have any left--I am anxiously waiting by the door for the UPS guy, when he comes, I may ravage him with hugs and scream 'thank you' at the top of my lungs!

I have decided I want to be on Ellen (or somewhere that issues can be raised, donations can be given, and awareness is highlighted).  During radiation I watched a portion of her show daily, it was on while I would wait in my high-fashion hospital gown for my turn to go under the gun.  I want people to be aware of breast cancer year round, not just during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I want people to read my blog, I want to help women understand their bodies, prevention, perseverance, gratitude and the celebration of life.  I want people to ask me questions, I want to hear feed back, I want to hug everyone who has ever commented on my blog, everyone who sent me emails that make me cry and laugh and reevaluate my thoughts.

I want Scott to be recognized on TV (or something....I don't think there is a gift or card for thanking someone for saving your life) for his ability to maneuver this situation with an ease and love that is unheard of in most people.  There are no words for the awe I feel for what he has done for me this past year.  I don't even think we said "in sickness and in health" at our wedding......pretty sure when we mixed the sand symbolizing the merging of our families he didn't look in and see my nipples in there or a road map leading to cancer, you can't prepare for something like this.

I want something to happen for him to be able to relax for the rest of his life, so he can be outside (crazy bastard) all the time and not have to worry about bills.  I want Ellen to pay our mortgage or fix our creepy basement that I can't even go in without having a panic attack.  I just want Scott to catch a fucking break.  If there is anyone I have ever met that deserves it, he is it.  I want him to have every outdoor adventure thingy (obviously this isn't my forte) so he can just chose one and go on his way. 

I want to be healthy enough to join him (and get over my laziness, fear, and dislike of being cold, wet, hungry, achy, tired, or my urge to be under covers when I am faced with something I have never done--more blogging to come on this subject.....be prepared for lots of foul language).

I want a lot of things.  I also want to hear from people who read my blog! I want comments, questions, references, antidotes, suggestions, ANYTHING! Criticism? Love it! 

Please email me at: lumpsandlipstick@gmail.com

8 comments:

  1. I'm always reading. Always in awe of you. Always inspired by you.

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  2. We've never met Dori, so this might seem weird but someone with your sense of humor and creativity may appreciate a reach out from the unknown...you can tell me after. :) My husband Anthony worked with Scott and then ran with Scott - or tried to catch Scott - not sure which. My husband was trying to prove he's badass at 45 and keep up with someone half his age...and actually did a pretty good job..until he hurt his little foot. :) He'd kill me if he could read this. Anyway- I digress- Scott "friended" me on FB and I have been secretly reading your blog ever since. I think you are AMAZING! And I am doing the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk in Septemeber and want to put your name in tribute on my t-shirt as a SURVIVOR! My mom just went through all this - diagnosed in October but was fortunate with a very early detection. Had two lumpectomies and radiation. She's cancer free and I hope and pray that for you too. I am disgusted by the treatment you've NOT been getting and wonder how my mom made it through - she went to the same place I think. I read your blog because you make me laugh, inspire me, make me want to give you a hug even though I don't know you and I'm always planning in my head the perfect dinner I could make to bring over to you and Scott one night so you'd have a break and a nice meal. So- hopefully one day I can do that. My prayers are with you and Scott. You both deserve great things..him outdoor things and you - well -everything but mostly life. I'll keep reading if it's okay!
    My best - Elizabeth

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  3. You are made of awesome. End story. Tell us how we can help you get on Ellen (or whatever show).

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  4. Much like Elizabeth that posted above, I've been reading your blog ever since a woman in my mom's group posted the link. I'm addicted to checking your blog to see new posts because I love your zest for life and your witty comments. We're the same age & I can't for the life of me imagine the hell you're going through. I'm sure there are many other silent followers out there that are rooting for you also. Keep being awesome & kicking cancer's ass!

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  5. Oh the sand. I was fortunate enough to be in your wedding and you're right, pretty sure those vows didn't take place but the tears in Scott's eyes on that day said every word that you guy's didn't. He is amazing...but so are you Dori June and I am so happy the two of you have each other for balance and support.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go campaign for my friend on every television network I can think of...

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  6. Dori,
    I've never met you either but have read every blog since my sister, Kathy, and niece, Alisia, told me about you! I cannot imagine what you're going thru, especially at your young age. I wish only the best for you and Scott! You will make it thru this. I believe that whole heartedly. I check your blog every day for updates and am addicted to reading every word you write! I love the way you express your feelings. Keep it up!

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  7. What Katie & Johanna said. With a side of the Parris Blue calendar hanging in my office as a daily reminder, and generously garnished with how incredibly much you remind me of my sister, who recently celebrated 10 years in remission.

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  8. OH Dori! You and Scott deserve all the best in life!! I have been reading all of your blogs since you started them last year. You are such an inspiration and a strong woman! I love the sarcasm that you throw in but I also have to say that just about every single blog post has brought tears to my eyes. I Love the idea of going on the Ellen show! There is also extreme home makeover, that hit me when you were talking about your creepy basement. I think I will check into some things for you guys! I am constantly thinking of you and trying to figure out a way to help you and Scott.

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