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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I'm as good once as I ever was

Greenaway Girls--+wig
Well folks, I did it.  I went to a training in Seattle, for two days in a row, stayed awake the whole time and survived!  Monday was a pretty harsh wake-up call--doing two days in a row like that may be a bit much for my body.............I was drained physically and emotionally..........but it was more than worth it.  It really lit a fire under my ass for returning to work.  I just can't wait for my body to cooperate with my brain and make it happen!
My appointment at the pain clinic went well.  I am starting Gabapentin  (Neurontin) tonight. It has been shown to help treat painful neuropathies, and nerve-related pain--which is going on in my legs, feet and ankles.  There is a laundry-list of side effects, most common is being drowsy--I will begin to take it tonight and do that for 3 days, then take it at night and in the morning for 3 days, then go to 3 times a day.   I took my first pill a few hours ago and so far so good--I am not extremely tired, no chest pain, it is a little harder to breathe but I think that is my asthma and not the medication.  I am doing my best not to put all my eggs in one basket (already did that....they rendezvoused with Scott's fellas and are in a basket in Reno) but I am really hoping this medication helps my legs.  We are planning on starting another medication in a few weeks as well--we just can't do more than 1 at a time--this way we can divide up side effects.

food as medicine

While in Seattle for my training I was fortunate enough to stay at a friends apartment--she isn't there on the weekends.  There is something about being in a foreign space, just focusing on yourself and the task at hand--it's rejuvenating.  It is the same sense of urgency to succeed I had during my residency at grad school.  I flew to Vermont, stayed on campus, and the only thing I had to focus on was what was going on there--nothing for work, personal life at home, etc....  When I am at trainings I prefer to stay in a hotel so I can mentally focus.  It was really comforting to be back doing what I love, exhausted or not.  I hardly slept both nights....mostly because I was so excited to be doing 'something'............I was up bright and early, got ready, drove to the training, stayed awake and participated (loved every minute of it!), and was so excited at night (like a kid on Christmas Eve) I was bursting and couldn't sleep.

I am finding it fascinating how my brain 'shut down' during treatment.  I know that a lot of it was chemo brain--the amount of time I can't recall is pretty scary, and recounting the stories of my hospital stays and the week post chemos makes me shutter.....  It is taking longer than I would like for it to come back, I am feeling more witty....but I still interchange words, spell things wrong, and blank-out mid sentence.  Waiting for my mental and physical to start to hold hands and work together---I think they are both mad I put them through hell...............

1 comment:

  1. Dori,

    Good for you to make it through your training!! Yes, I know chemobrain all too well. It's kind of scary how the brain betrays you, kind of a payback for allowing the toxins in.

    Great posting. I appreciate your candor.

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