|My Chemo Graduation Hat (made by Kerri)|
I had a great last Chemo Eve and my final chemo wasn't too bad either. It is just the crap that happened as a result of the last chemo that has kept me absent from the real world for awhile.
So...I am back, sort of. I still feel like shit and today has been the first day I have made it to the couch for longer than a few hours. After my 6th (final, most recent) chemo I ended up in the hospital (again) due to severe bone pain, neutropenia, and feeling just plain lousy. The hospital was probably my worst visit yet--not because of the care I received--but because the amount of meds I was on. It was insane. I feel like I was the super drunk girl at the party and am embarrassed (been there, done that). I was on so much medication I was nodding off like every pain-pill addicted person on Intervention; I spilt soup and water on myself; and was talking nonsense to everyone who would listen.......not my best moments.
|Scott and I at my final chemo--Chemo Graduation!|
I was fortunate enough during my hospital stay to have my mom here too. I was a bit crazy with the meds but had the support of my family in the room which makes all the difference. I may have been the drunken girl at the party--but I had a great group of cockblockers (you know, the drunk girls friends who just won't let you get too close........priceless). I have received lots of messages asking if I am okay--being absent from facebook and the blog for so long--everyone knows I must have felt like real shit--I did (still do) but I am back, because this is the one strand of normal that I have left.
|Chemo Eve Sexy Face|
|Final Chemo Crew|
At this point I may feel like my life sucks and my body is so foreign I am not sure how it functions at this point, I know that this will pass. I feel like my body is being torn apart from the inside out, every day. I know I will feel better and everything will work itself out--however that will end up. But right now I will wallow in a bit of self-pity and do my best to get my ass out of bed, and at least to the couch. And keep my fingers crossed that I will be able to make home for the holidays. And as soon as I find the transfer cable for my camera, I will put up some pictures from my hospital stay--some of them are pretty priceless.