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Sunday, July 11, 2010

"How do you feel?"


I keep getting asked the question, "how do you feel?" So I thought I would take some time to answer it....

I feel a lump in my breast. I feel the tears that rush to my eyes, and hold on the brink of a waterfall when I think of the road to come and others who have taken the path before me.

I feel ashamed for being consumed with myself and not connected with women who have walked the road before me. I feel guilty when I go to bed feeling sorry for myself, when there are others in different shoes, struggling...alone.

I feel alone, even when I am surrounded by those who love me.

I feel angry--at the world, at myself, at my body.

I feel like a want a donut.

I feel like ripping open a pillow and throwing stuffing everywhere.

I feel strong.

I feel a lump in my throat.

I feel like hiding under the covers.

I feel like laughing and crying at the same time.

I feel like I don't want to talk to anyone.

I feel like I want to talk to everyone.

I feel that we need more aggressive research.

I feel like women are the strongest beings on the planet.

I feel supported.

I feel loved.

I feel lucky to be who I am.

I feel held.

I feel nurtured.

I feel tortured.

I feel like I am sick of having to feel.

I feel terrified.

I feel out of control.

I feel like I am blooming into something beautiful.

3 comments:

  1. Not sure how you can be any more beautiful but go ahead and bloom baby bloom. See you and your beautiful self tomorrow for photoshoot number two! Love you!

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  2. I feel Patti is right...You are already beautiful! Take a beautifully formed rose bud. It's already lovely, but when it opens up you can see the details that were once tightly pressed together to form the bud...Now it's spectacular! You are SO loved, Dori!

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